the moving truck is rented
pick up for the 23rd

i’ve a phone call to make today to schedule my second phone interview
that will also occur on the 23rd most likely
multi-tasking

yesterday my oldest put in her notice
news flies fast in small towns
pc’s best bud here finds out
and asks questions of her
he had no idea
or so it would seem

pc arrives home from the farm
drunk again
i tried to help him with some paperwork while trying to cook dinner
multi-tasking
he pats my ass as he walks by to the shower
i can tell he’s assuming that all the talk from before was just anger
his plans for the evening include a shower and then a pity fuck
but then his phone rings
he spends some time outside on the phone
and comes back in a different man

i had news to tell him last night
but i knew he had to get up early
4 a.m. arrives before you know it
so i was waiting until tonight
seems his friend decided not to
and apparently his delivery of the same message
stuck

despite everything
there is a sadness that overwhelms me most days
i can’t even say i wanted to believe
i believed
and there are parts of me that still remember those parts of him that i loved
deeply
when i look at who he is now
well
just sad
i suppose no one gets married believing that it will end
i’m no different
i’m just the same
just sad