d-fek-tiv
hi there
yeah
it’s me
long road to here
seems like not even a valid description
i want to say thank you to my sistah
for updating folks
and
for her words
“i wish you would just give yourself a chance…”
you may not know
i waffled
i drove 500 miles
i heard his quiet “don’t go’s”
echoing
and i wanted to believe
perhaps this was the rock bottom
maybe this is what
he
we
needed
so
i turned around
drove 500 miles
back
against the wishes of everyone who loves me
tears spilling from my eyes
both ways
i don’t know what i expected
but
a hug and then he sat on the couch
watching
“the longest yard”
fitting
i suppose
i fell into a deep, dark sleep
worn out
from
crying
driving
believing
wishing
discovering
disappointment
the words
“it’s not too late” resonated in my bones
the next morning
i asked him to meet me for breakfast
i suppose i knew the truth all along
we parted
the road here
was long
car problems to say the least
my heart aching
~ still aching ~
please
don’t say you’re
proud
or happy for me
right now
i don’t feel any of those things
thus the title of this post
i feel
simply sad
simply scattered
simply stupid
simply shattered
the broken parts of my heart
clutched tight in my hands
cutting me here and there
but
i think i found all the parts
though i’ve not yet found a job
twice divorced is a bitter pill
add 42 to that
and
i just choke
no job?
well
you can only imagine
but
i guess
i saw
two roads
each beginning with tears and sadness
one with a possible, most likely unhappy ending
the other with a possible happy ending
so
i chose door number two
and
here i am
back in cali
finally
Hello love. I’ve been thinking about you constantly.
xoxo
I have goosebumps and a lump in my throat and all I’ll say is..
FLY BABY!!!!!
Its not to bad on this side.
kissin those soft spots too!
Welcome Home Honey. I know it’s been a long journey but it feels like you are back where you belong. The rest will sort itself out.
Hugs and much love to you!!
Yeah, what they all said…just glad you are back where you belong…and where your heart will soon be at peace. Lots of love and hugs encircling you!
you are a redwood.
There’s more room in a broken heart
just peekin’ in to give lotsa love & hugs honey.