of course
it’s not over until it’s over, right?
my laywer called me saying that pc needs to appear before the judge on friday
just formalities
but of course
that idea has him now waffling on our deal
so
keep your fingers crossed for me
if he determines that he does want to fight
it will mean trips back there for me to appear in court
i’m going to try to remain positive

he haunts my dreams
much like the man in real life
one night, he’s sweet and loving
the next, he’s mean
sleeping pills be damned, they don’t help my escape

other worries rolling around in my stomach like bricks
no job…
my brother living in on of our houses out there hasn’t paid for last months rent still and won’t return my phone calls…
credit card debt piling up…
just
i need a break

i know there’s a part of him
hoping for my failure
hoping that i’ll come crawling back
debts in tow
so he can hold it against me
bring me down
and
there’s just no way i can let that happen

pray for me
wish for me
shake some chicken bones
light a candle
fuck, have a drink and think of me
something
i’d appreciate it