Simply Leen

Your Horoscope – Today, July. 23, 2010
It appears your ship has just come in, Leen. This sudden windfall could get you thinking about making some kind of major change. Perhaps you’re ready to move to a better neighborhood, or are even prepared to relocate to an entirely different city. However, do some careful planning and budgeting before making any rash decisions. There are other, less dramatic ways to celebrate your good fortune.

it’s been a crazy day at work
a co-worker submitted her 2-week notice yesterday
she works in a position that everyone thinks i should work in
and now the pressure is on for me to apply
and i just may…

the co-worker is leaving to go back to a previous employer
when she told me the payrate?
i about choked
of course, i found myself online to that employer in search of possibilities for myself
and there are jobs to apply for
however, the location of this employer is 2 hours away from my current residence
no can do
at least… at this point in time
so…
i may apply for her vacated position
and find a way to keep in touch with her
and who knows where time will lead?
and all that was running through my mind when i read my horoscope
and that made me smile

the pay reduction i’ve been dealing with for nearly a year is almost over
and the possibility of receiving a pay increase coupled with the return of pay is ever so sweet
the depth and width of my debt load spreading ever farther and wider daily
the possiblity of my youngest finding employment that will grant her insurance benefits will add another boost to my ever-taxed income
all of these possibilities out on the horizon
i hate to talk about things before they happen because then they never seem to happen
so…
maybe i’ll say instead…
i’m never going to find love
i’ll never be able to buy my forever home
i’ll forever be drowning in debt

get it?
maybe the reverse will happen

true love
casa di milione sogni
and reasonable debt
(because there’s no such thing as zero debt, right?)

online dating continues to be… eh
a few messages yesterday with a handsome man who lives about 30 minutes away
but it sort of dwindled off despite my best intentions to jump start it
there’s another guy interested as well
but i’m having a hard time getting over the rennaissance pirate costume picture
the guy i’m smitten with is obviously not nearly as smitten with me
and of course there are those tiny little doubts in my head
“why does he only write to you from work? he’s going to be overseas for 2 weeks? sounds like he’s married and it lying about it…”
eck
i’m trying to remain as positive and open minded as possible
but now there’s that damn nagging doubt whispering in my ear
is that a croak i hear?
i sure hope not

beneath the flesh beats heart
blood races
beneath the flesh burns hope
soul dreams
and the flesh longs like an adolescent
to be seen
to be known
to be wanted
to be loved
i am both hidden
and exposed
longing for expression and attention
and equally afraid to be denied
flesh and bone
heart and soul
all there in one picture
can you see me?

i’m burnt all to hell
scalp should be peeling quite lovely by this weekend
but the weekend away at the beach was fabulous
lots of laughs and way too much beer was consumed
we were home early enough on sunday to relax and recoup before work on monday

there are a few concerts at a local fair happening this week that i’d like to attend
but we also are planning a yard sale for saturday morning
and there’s a festival in a town an hour away that i’d like to see too…
but more than likely, i’ll be yard sale-ing, mowing, and just attempting to stay cool this weekend

…..

don’t know much about your life
and i don’t know much about your world
but don’t wanna be alone tonight
on this planet they call earth

i had a lovely conversation last night
with what appears to be a lovely man
after much fuss and fretting…
the phone call with the third man i’ve met online
turned into a nice cap to my day

you don’t know about my past
and i don’t have a future figured out
and maybe this is going too fast
and maybe it’s not meant to last

i sat on the patio with a glass of wine
our conversations wrapping around each other

but what do you say to taking chances?
what do you say to jumping off the edge?
never knowing if there’s solid ground below
or a hand to hold
or hell to pay
what do you say? what do you say?

he loves pearl jam
has seen them several times in concert
to which i countered with a pearl jam concert story of my own
he has two young children
i have a dog that shares the name of his daughter

cuz i just want to start again
oh, and maybe you could show me how to try
and maybe you could take me in
somewhere underneath your skin

at one point while he was sharing with me some work related items
i closed my eyes and just let his voice wash over me
a very nice voice indeed
when i opened my eyes, i saw a falling star
and that made me smile too

what do you say to taking chances?
what do you say to jumping off the edge?
never knowing if there’s solid ground below
or a hand to hold
or hell to pay
what do you say? what do you say?

he’s traveling overseas next week
will be gone for two weeks
and perhaps that’s a good thing
at least, i’m trying to tell myself that

and i had my heart beaten down
but i always come back for more, yeah
there’s nothing like love to fill you up
when you’re laying down on the floor there
so, talk to me, talk to me like lovers do
yeah, walk with me, walk with me like lovers do
like lovers do

i’m hoping once he arrives back in the states, we can set up a time to meet in person
and hopefully he won’t turn out to be a toad
cuz just this once, i’d like to kiss a prince for a bit of time

what do you say to taking chances?
what do you say to jumping off the edge?
never knowing if there’s solid ground below
or a hand to hold
or hell to pay
what do you say? what do you say?

don’t know much about your life
don’t know much about your world…